Self compassion has often had a really bad rep recently.
It brings tones of self-involvement and selfishness.
That's not what we are talking about here.
It's so much more about the kindness and attention you bring to your own thoughts, feelings and body.
Weirdly self-compassion is the magic sauce we need to make informed decisions and work from a place of balance when trying to change anything, but most of all our pain experience.
"See self-compassion, learning to be kind and non-judgemental to ourselves, gives us the distance from a situation to be able to see the wood from the trees and know how to respond next. "
What to know more, tune in...
When dealing with chronic pain it’s important to recognise that we all have a wobble sometimes…
It’s totally ok to throw your toys out of the pram…
It’s totally ok to go full toddler…
And it’s totally ok to not feel happy with where you are currently, or disappointed, or that you’re still struggling or figuring your health out.
Remember it’s a process.
To recover from chronic pain you need a combination of approaches.
First of all, someone to listen.
Someone qualified who is able to understand what the actual problem is.
This step is so simple but often missed.
The person who you trust with your story will be able to discern what is important, what needs attention and what action needs to happen.
If you are working with someone who does not offer you the opportunity to fully explain or someone who doesn’t refer you if they feel the support you need is out of their remit, then perhaps think again about that relationship?
When you are heard and validated, instead of feeling confused and questioning your own experiences you can start to offer yourself the care that you need. The care that you’ve been shown.
Validation is often the turning point in someone’s story. It allows for self compassion.
The second step in your journey to recovery from chronic pain: A plan.
Without clarity on the practicalities you lose confidence that you’re moving in the right direction.
To keep moving forward you need to have confidence that you are in fact moving forward and making a difference.
The plan is designed to take you from A - B and that may seem like too big of a big jump BUT with a plan in place to get you there, each step will be manageable and achievable.
We often make the plan so beautifully simple and accessible that failure isn’t really an option.
We have to have SMART goals to start moving that needle.
It’s important to remember though, the plan itself is an act of compassion.
Otherwise it is pushing too much, too soon and inviting pain back.
A good plan will meet you where you are each day and make room for self compassion.
The third step is to keep going.
For this to happen you need to make sure the steps you are taking work with your life.
It needs to be as easy as possible to take action and if it isn’t then your therapist should be working closely with you to improve it.
To make the plan work you also need to ask for help, and do so in as many places as possible wIthin your time, your budget and your friendships.
Every interaction, every task on your to-do list can play a role in your recovery.
Or hinder it.
The fourth step is listening to your body and knowing when to stop.
This is probably the hardest part, many people feel this is often a step backwards and is often when we wobble.
The path to recovery from chronic pain is not a straight line.
When you are in a wobble, what can you do about it?
Ask yourself: “what belief is behind today’s feelings?”
The answer to that question will tell you so much:
How are you speaking to yourself,
What are your expectations,
Where is your mindset is coming from
What are your beliefs behind the words
Some of those things might not be that kind. Perhaps it’s time to start talking to yourself like you would your best friend.
Show yourself the compassion you would show them.
It’s totally ok to be exactly where you are right now.
Compassionately figuring things out one step at a time.
If you’d like a helping hand, a facilitator and a guide, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.
All the very best to you and your families.
Carmen
Makepeace & Massage
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